Is that what I think it is?

I always lose my car in mall parking. I don’t think I’m stupid, just not good at remembering codes. All the damn spaces look so alike, how the hell am I supposed to remember? They should do something about it, I'm sick of waiting till every car has left the mall and walking round to see the cars that are left. There’s usually about a dozen of us dimwits, walking round, trying not to make eye contact with each other.

In Dubai they don’t use codes for identifying parking areas, they use fruit. Apparently, you’re more likely to remember you parked in banana 3 than B3. So, I reckon that they could name parking spaces in more memorable ways, like “your sister is a whore” or “you take it up the ass”. You wouldn’t forget then would you?


This brings me to the main topic of my post

I am a little annoyed. Someone I know , another blogger was flashed in a mall car park. I’m annoyed because I don’t like the idea that women can’t feel safe here. I’m also annoyed because it never happens to us men. Women are much too dignified to do that to us. You could never imagine a woman cornering you in a dimly lit car park, hitching up her skirt, rubbing herself provocatively, saying, “how about a bit of this handsome?” then making an “O” shape with her mouth and jutting her head back and forth. To be honest, I would probably be inclined to run too.

I cannot fathom the concept that there are men out there who think that a woman would be turned on by a random flaccid penis. This has to be the all time worst pick up line ever to be attempted.

She did report the incident to the police, who, on taking her statement asked her how she knew it was his penis that she saw. “Because it had an uncanny resemblance to you officer” she should have said. I can’t help thinking that the police officer assumed the fact she could recognize a penis makes her in some perverted way responsible.

If they pick up several suspects, I think she may have to go back and pick the penis out of a line up. I can see it now “All suspects please face the front and step forward.. that’s enough…. Now hold your penis in your fist… yes, that’s right… now shake it up and down… o.k. o.k... now draw imaginary circles in the air with it… now push your tongue out and flick it around…..ok..ok…please stop that… you were not asked to rub your nipples provocatively “

I maybe wrong (and im sure you’ll tell me if I am), but, a woman’s genitalia have a beautiful form, they look like they are purposely designed, they have pleasing curves. They are beautiful. A mans tackle on the other hand just looks like the last turkey left in the shop.